Practical and Logical Part 2!
by Jam Cow
Summary: How battles would have been done in the Naruto world if Naruto used logic. Oneshot


**Practical and Logical Part 2!**

 **Sorry this took so long, I had to think up of situations that would work and make sure everything was in order.**

 **Well, excuses aside, onto the story!**

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The Hokage was actually really relieved that Naruto was here.

Now he didn't need to deal with any dramatic bullshit. He was too old for that crap.

Naruto looked over to Hiruzen.

"Hey Jiji!" he called out

"What is it Naruto?"

"What are the albino's powers?"

The Hokage scratched his beard.

Wait.

"Albino?"

"Do you see how pale that guy is?

Sarutobi stared at a seething Orochimaru, before agreeing.

"He's obsessed with snakes" he said

Naruto quirked an eyebrow.

"How obsessed?" he asked

"He can literally turn his body parts into snakes"

"So he's like a snake man?"

Hiruzen nodded.

"Well!" Naruto clapped

"I have the perfectly convenient thing for this situation!"

Orochimaru chose to take action at that exact moment.

"Like I'll let you!" he hissed out.

Orochimaru stuck out his snake-tongue, fully intending to end the pain in the ass right then and there.

Too bad for him, Naruto had a ninja mongoose in his hands.

Said mongoose was actually really hungry, so it jumped at the sight of the snake tounge and…

...started eating it.

Huh, well... that gotta hurt.

"AHHHHHH!"

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Orochimaru finally batted the slippery mongoose away from his body.

Everybody else winced at the sight of him.

He was bleeding in multiple places, ripped clothing, and… was that piss on his shirt?

Oh and he had his tongue bitten off.

"Cuse yu Usumki aruto!" he strangled out

Hiruzen looked at Naruto.

"What? Was he talking to me?" Naruto asked out confused

Orochimaru clenched what was left of his teeth.

"I"wwll ow yow ot to mezz with me!"

Two coffins appeared out of the ground.

When Naruto saw who came out of the coffins, he was shocked when the Shodaime and Nindaime Hokage came out.

"Hahaha, ow I'wwll haf mah refenge on Ko-oha!"

Hashirama quirked an eyebrow at the snake creep before turning to Naruto and Sarutobi with a questioning look.

Both of them shrugged.

Orochimaru shoved kunais into their necks.

"Ow I wll force ou to figh the Hokage!" Orochimaru laughed

Hashirama started doing hand signs and a huge forest came out of nowhere.

Hiruzen tensed himself preparing to defend himself.

Too bad Naruto had a lighter.

Naruto set a tree on fire, which then set another tree on fire, and another…

Everything was on fire.

"NO! MY TREES!" Hashirama cried out

"It's okay I got it!" Tobirama called out

The fire was then put out with a torrent of water.

A lot of water.

Unfortunately for everybody, it was too much water.

The water filled up the purple barrier, which the Sound Four were struggling to keep up.

Soon everybody was underwater drowning.

Orochimaru was trying to swim up to the surface, until he was stopped by something.

He looked at his feet and saw the mongoose wearing a oxygen mask.

"Oh you son a-"

The mongoose pulled him down.

"WWAAGHGHHH!"

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Sarutobi looked out the window.

"So do you always have a submarine on you or…?" he questioned

Naruto laughed.

"Nah! I just happen to take stuff that's always somehow happens to convenient!"

"It's like there's some other force out there, guiding me!" he looked up with his hands in a prayer position.

"Huh."

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After everything was over, the revived Hokages disappeared, Hiruzen was standing there peacefully smoking, Naruto was petting his ninja mongoose, and Orochimaru…

Naruto poked him with a stick.

"You okay?" he asked

"Ugwhhwaah" Orochimaru gurgled

"Ooh, a little waterlogged there buddy?"

"Gwhwh…"

Suddenly Kabuto and the Sound Four appeared.

Kabuto glared at Naruto... probably because he hit him with a car.

"We will be leaving now. And Uzumaki..." he paused

"Fuck you.

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Naruto blinked at the people before him.

"So you're not gonna be Hokage anymore?" he questioned

Hiruzen nodded.

"And Tsunade is going to be the new Hokage?"

Koharu and Homura nodded.

"And I'm going to get her?"

Jiraiya nodded.

"Why?"

"Well, I was originally going to get her-" Jiraiya drawled

"-but we believe you have a better chance." the Hokage cut him off.

"Why would you think I have a better chance?"

Everybody looked at Naruto.

" _You know why._ "

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Naruto sighed as he walked into the gambling center.

He looked around before seeing the blonde haired medic.

He sat down in front of her.

Naruto held out a bottle.

"Want a drink?"

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"WWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Apparently the drink was really strong.

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Naruto was currently dragging a hungover Tsunade, Shizune, and her pet pig towards Konoha.

"How are you not hungover?" mumbled out Tsunade

Naruto laughed.

"The Kyuubi is invaluable for that kind of thing!"

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Naruto stared at the giant snake in front of him.

He then waved to Orochimaru,

"Hey snake-bino! Wow you're looking a lot better!"

Orochimaru growled before smirking.

"Hehe, Naruto, look at you all alone so vulnerable!"

Naruto looked to his side, where Tsunade and Shizune were taking a nap.

He kicked them lightly with his foot. No response.

Naruto sighed.

"I think it's time you DIE!" Orochimaru screamed out intent on getting his vengeance

He tapped his foot on the summons's head.

He was confused when the snake didn't move forward.

"Huh?"

Orochimaru looked down to see a pile of bones, and a bunch of mongooses, foxes, and a few big birds patting their bellies.

He then felt a something on his leg.

He looked down to see the same ninja mongoose from Konoha grinning.

"AAAHH!"

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Naruto glanced at the people with him.

"You ready?" he asked

Hiruzen and Jiraiya nodded.

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Tsunade woke up groggily.

She grew confused when she saw Naruto, Jiraiya, and Hiruzen clapping.

"What?" she asked

"Congratulations Tsunade! You made Hokage!" Hiruzen complemented

" _What_?"

"Yeah, you have know idea how happy people were to have you back!" Jiraiya exclaimed

Tsunade was visibly shaking.

"Good job Baa-chan!" Naruto exclaimed

"WHAT!"

Naruto snickered silently at how funny it was to trick her.

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(Couple minutes later…)

*Glug*Glug*Glug*

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Naruto yelled at the person in front of him.

"Sasuke why are you doing this!"

"You know why I'm doing this! I-"

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(A while later…)

" _Blah blah blah_ , revenge! _Blah blah blah_ power! _Blah Blah Blah_ kill you! Blah Blah Blah." Sasuke finished.

Sasuke turned to look at Naruto only to find him reading a magazine and drinking a smoothie.

Naruto looked up from his magazine.

"Oh! You're done? Sorry bout' that!" Naruto quickly put away the magazine and drank the rest of his smoothie.

Sasuke growled angrily.

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

He charged with a Chidori intent on burning a hole into Naruto's chest.

"NARUTO!"

"SASUKE!"

"NARUTO"

"SASUKE!"

"NARU-to?" He found his hand in a rubber glove.

Sasuke looked up to see Naruto wearing a shit eating grin.

The Chidori fizzed out.

"Wha-"

BAM!

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Sasuke eventually did get away though.

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 **And that's a wrap! Sorry if that was more crack than logic. Tell me if you guys want more in the reviews!**


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